Why are people so mean on internet? Therapist explains psychology behind online cruelty

Why are people meaner online than in real life? Therapist Jeffrey Meltzer explains how screens lower empathy and fuel impulsive, cruel behaviour online.

The internet was meant to connect us, but all too often it feels like a battleground of harsh comments, unsolicited opinions, and casual cruelty. From trolling and cancel culture to passive-aggressive tweets and nasty DMs, online spaces can quickly turn toxic.

The internet fosters emotional disinhibition, allowing people to express cruelty without immediate consequences. (Freepik)

But why do people say things online they'd never say in real life? What is it about a screen that brings out the worst in some of us? Therapist Jeffrey Meltzer, in his July 23 Instagram post, breaks down the psychology behind this digital rudeness and why the internet can make us meaner than we realise.

Why people feel safer being mean online

Jeffrey explains in his post, “There's actually a term that explains why people are so mean on the internet, it's called emotional disinhibition. When people are online, they feel safer behind a screen. There's no eye contact, no facial feedback, no real-time consequences. Because of that, they feel less accountable for what they say, meaning their empathy drops significantly.”

He further adds, "Emotional disinhibition means people are more likely to express thoughts or emotions they'd usually hold back in person. They become more unfiltered, more impulsive. They might lash out, make fun of others, troll people, usually just to get a reaction. And when others join in, it creates a kind of mob mentality. Meanness spreads quickly, and no one wants to take responsibility."

When justification masks responsibility

"That's when moral disengagement kicks in. People justify their actions by saying things like, 'I was just joking,' or 'I barely said anything,' or 'Everyone else was way worse.' It's how they downplay their role, by convincing themselves it wasn't a big deal or that they were just going along with the crowd," says Jeffrey.

He concludes, "But the irony is, most of these same people would never say those things face-to-face, not because they're different people, but because the presence of another human being reminds them that their words have consequences."

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice.