Feet on chair in restaurant at Delhi's 5-star hotel sparks heated online debate
YourStory founder Shradha Sharma's X post – feeling humiliated at Taj – has ignited a debate. Some empathise, many feel the restaurant has the right to refuse.
A viral social media post by media entrepreneur Shradha Sharma, founder of the website YourStory, has sparked a wide-ranging online debate after she shared a personal experience at the fine-dining restaurant, House of Ming at Taj Mahal Hotel on Mansingh Road in Delhi. While some have empathised with her, many others have sided with the restaurant saying the hotel management has the right to refuse any behaviour that flouts the fine-dining etiquette.
In the video posted on X, Shradha had described feeling humiliated after being told by the restaurant manager that a guest had issues with the way she was sitting. She had actually folded her legs and was spotted sitting in sukhasana (according to yoga). Take a look at the X post here:
Diner’s first-hand experience:
“I was at the restaurant with my sister, sitting at a corner table chit-chatting and enjoying our meal. I was sitting on the chair cross-legged as I am comfortable sitting like that even while in my office,” says Shradha, adding, “That is when the restaurant manager came up to me and said, ‘Ma’am, could you please sit properly.’ It threw me off completely and I asked him, ‘What does that mean and am I sitting in any objectionable way or am I doing anything wrong?’ to which he went quiet and then remarked that there is a certain guest in the restaurant who is feeling odd with me sitting like that as he is saying that it is going against the etiquette of a fine-dining restaurant and gave examples of how they have certain rules such as what outfits one can wear, what kind of shoes, etc.”
Shradha recalled that she was surprised by the manager’s reasoning. “Which again was odd as I then showed him my Kolhapuri sandals and asked, ‘What is wrong in these?’ He did not have any justification to my response and I told him that I don’t think I am doing anything wrong or offending anyone and did not change how I was sitting,” she said, adding, “It was such a strange experience to go through. Most of the women I know sit like this and it’s just a part of our Indian culture and tradition. It’s odd to feel this way in my own country. I have worked so hard to be able to afford good things in life and have my family experience it with me — which is exactly what I wanted to joyfully do with my sister at the restaurant. But to be made to feel judged and humiliated just for being authentic, that too at a place where I am a customer who is dining and will be paying a hefty bill, felt very strange.”
She added that the manager later realised she was upset and tried to make amends. “The manager later realised I was upset and he brought desserts, which I refused. My sister was really upset with the whole experience and wanted us to file an official complaint, which I chose not to. The reason I took to social media was to ignite the discussion around the larger topic is that I have travelled the world and been to many fine dining restaurants where they appreciate and really accept Indian culture. Why can’t I be authentic (when in my own country)? And who decides the etiquettes of a fine dining restaurant? There is one popular premium fine dining restaurant where they encourage you to eat with your hands, and then at another; they have different rules. If that is the case, why not just write down the rules beforehand outside the restaurant?”
Industry experts' take:
Joining in the debate of whether “It's okay to sit with your feet on a sofa?” popular chef Suvir Saran opines, “In many Indian homes, that’s considered impolite — not because the rule is colonial or elitist — because our elders associated feet with humility and respect. Feet touch the earth; they carry our journeys, our weight, our daily dust. Even in rest, we were taught to be mindful of that. There’s nothing wrong with a gentle reminder: 'Ma’am, if you don’t mind, may I help you sit more comfortably?' That’s not policing; that’s politeness… The hotel’s intent may have been to uphold decorum, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Russel Issac, director of F&B services at JW Marriott Kolkata, feels: “The fundamentals [of fine dining] haven’t changed – hygiene, courtesy, and consideration for fellow diners remain non-negotiable! What’s outdated are arbitrary rules that judge a guest’s comfort or culture. As hoteliers, we no longer enforce a colonial idea of ‘proper’; we create an atmosphere where guests feel naturally elegant in their own way… The role of a fine dining restaurant is to create harmony between brand ethos and guest individuality. We allow flexibility wherever it doesn’t compromise hygiene, safety, or the experience of others. Cross-legged seating, regional attire, or eating with hands are all natural expressions of comfort that we welcome… Our staff are trained not to ‘correct’ guests, but to curate comfort while protecting the integrity of the dining room.”
Celebrity chef Nishant Choubey, too, believes that fine dining “celebrates grace without alienating cultural authenticity or personal comfort”. “I remember one time, at COYA in Dubai, when one of my friends was sent back since he was not dressed formally,” recalls Nishant, opining: “Some principles of fine dining remain timeless – respect, hygiene, mindfulness, and consideration. The ‘new’ fine dining etiquette is less about how one sits or holds a fork and more about how one behaves: being courteous to staff, not being loud or disruptive, respecting other diners’ space.”
