Expert tips for managing social anxiety: From self-talk to aromatherapy
Nick Jonas’ Golden Globes moment of stepping aside to manage social anxiety sparked a wider conversation. Here are some science-backed ways to cope better.
Ever been in a social situation when you constantly worry about being judged, embarrassed, or saying the ‘wrong’ thing? Your heart races, chest tightens, and breathing becomes shallow. These are some clear symptoms of social anxiety. Recently, singer-actor Nick Jonas’ brief step away from the Golden Globes brought this subject to the surface. After a short clip of him stepping out of the venue circulated on social media, a fan suggested that he may have been dealing with social anxiety, which Nick later confirmed.
Previously, multiple celebrities, including Anushka Sharma, Alia Bhatt, Khloé Kardashian, and Karan Johar, have also opened up about having social anxiety.
What is social anxiety?
According to Dr Darshan Yallapa Jotibannad, Consultant Psychiatrist, social anxiety is considered a very complex psychological condition that goes far beyond extreme simple shyness or introversion. “It is usually rooted in the fear system of the brain when it becomes more overactive in some social situations, interpreting day-to-day interactions as potential threats. This response often develops at an early stage in life, shaped by certain experiences such as repeated criticism, bullying, emotional neglect, social rejection, or growing up in environments where approval was conditional. With the passage of time, the mind learns to associate social exposures with certain factors such as danger, embarrassment, or failure, even when no kind of threat exists,” he says.
He also adds that people who face the problem of social anxiety experience an intense fear of being judged by other people, misunderstood or negatively evaluated. This type of fear can be so overwhelming that it overrides logic. Internally, individuals feel a sense of self-consciousness when they believe they are being watched or scrutinised by other people.
The coping mechanisms
Though social anxiety can take many forms, including intense fear of judgment, leading to avoidance, physical symptoms, cognitive distress, and behavioural changes, management of social anxiety requires more than simply pushing through discomfort or forcing confidence. Here are some simple, easy and expert-approved methods to manage social anxiety
1. Talk to yourself
According to Gianna LaLota, a New York-based therapist, there are some coping statements that one can say to themselves to calm their nerves down. “In moments of social anxiety, it’s easy to feel like others are judging, you don’t have anything valuable to add, and like all of your interactions must be perfect,” she says. She suggests the following statements:
- Everyone here is human and imperfect, just like me.
- Most people are paying attention to themselves.
- I have the skills to get through this interaction.
- I have valuable things to say and share.
- This interaction does not need to be perfect.
2. The best friend theory
Moksha Agrawal, a public speaker, suggests the best friend theory. When you walk into a room, and the moment you feel a speck of social anxiety, you must imagine that everyone in the room wants to be your friend. “When you start thinking this way, your brain shuts off the social anxiety when you meet new people. You start becoming your true self because you fool your brain into thinking that they like you,” she says.
Expert’s view: Dr Jyoti Mishra, senior consultant, psychology, validates this method, saying, “When the mind reclassifies an interaction as familiar or non-threatening, it lowers the level of cortisol and reduces hypervigilance.”
3. Aromatherapy
According to Onder, a UK-based group that works on alternative and practical social anxiety advice, aromatherapy helps calm the nerves. Certain scents like lavender show promise for reducing symptoms by promoting relaxation, as a complementary tool, best used alongside therapies like slow breathing. Other scents like rose and citrus oils, too, are cited for anxiety relief. You can diffuse oils or place a drop on a tissue to inhale or dilute with a carrier oil and apply to temples or pulse points (always patch test first).
Science approved: Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice found that more than 70% participants who received aromatherapy interventions reported a significant anxiety reduction.
4. Tactile grounding techniques
Onder also suggests holding on to small objects like a piece of jewellery, like a safe necklace, bracelet, or rings, especially when they have sentimental value, during anxious moments, can help ground you in reality, making you feel less overwhelmed. This technique helps you ease into reality and train your brain that you will not be spending an unanticipated amount of time there.
Expert’s view: Arpita Kohli, psychologist and counsellor, states, “When anxiety rises, focusing on touch can calm the nervous system and reduce physical symptoms like a racing heart or restlessness.”
