Husband is angry after wife discusses marital problems with parents, she asks Reddit for advice: 'It's been 3 years'
After three years of marriage filled with conflicts, a 28-year-old woman turns to Reddit for advice on involving parents in her troubled relationship.
A 28-year-old Indian woman, who has been married for nearly three years, has opened up about the challenges in her arranged marriage and her decision to involve parents when repeated conflicts went unresolved. She posted her dilemma on Reddit page Inside Indian Marriages on Wednesday.
(Also read: Woman trying for arranged marriage asks Reddit if this financial decision could harm her chances of finding a husband )
Indian woman shares struggles of arranged marriage
Married to a 32-year-old man after six months of courtship, the couple initially lived apart for one-and-a-half years due to work commitments in different countries before eventually settling overseas together. Both families remain in India.
While she acknowledges “there were also good moments, not everything was really bad,” the woman says recurring issues have strained their relationship. “He would get upset at the smallest of requests if he didn’t agree with them,” she said, describing her husband as “extremely short-tempered” and adding that he would “throw things around during our fights.”
Money has been another source of contention. Coming from different financial backgrounds—she from an upper middle-class family and he from a lower middle-class household—the couple often disagreed on spending habits. With him as the sole earner while she pursues her studies, financial pressures intensified their disputes.
How family involvement led to marital dispute
After repeated fights, the woman confided in her parents, who noticed she was no longer her “happy-go-lucky” self. They advised her to approach her father-in-law to help mediate. Her husband, however, strongly opposed parental involvement. When she did eventually reach out to his father, the response left her frustrated. “He didn’t ask us what our issues were but told us that he was really stressed to hear this and wanted us to resolve things by ourselves,” she said.
The attempt at intervention backfired, leading to further resentment. Her husband now accuses her of “tattling” to both families and believes her parents have lost respect for him. He also blames her for causing unnecessary stress to his father. Defending her decision, the woman said: “Everything I told them was so that they could guide us on how to resolve our issues. I only spoke to his dad to help us, after we weren’t able to be on the same page after three years of marriage regarding some core issues. Had I not involved someone, eventually our marriage would have broken sooner or later.”
She has now sought broader opinions, asking whether involving family in marital disputes is ever the right move when issues prove unresolvable between partners themselves.
How Redditors react
Redditors had a lot to say in response to the woman's post. One wrote, "I would suggest considering couples therapy/counselling if you haven't already. Throwing things around is childish and needs to stop…if you're unable to resolve fundamental differences within 3-4 years of marriage, that's not going to magically disappear later. YOLO, do what's right for you. Be selfish."
Another commented, "Dude, he's throwing things to intimidate you, and you're worried about involving family? You're well within rights to share the fact that he tries to physically intimidate you in fights…maybe he should get a grip and stop acting like a grown toddler throwing a tantrum."
A third user added, “I wouldn't say there is a right or wrong answer here. Context, tone, nuance, and messaging is everything…none of us were there in real time, so it's very subjective and hard to give an objective viewpoint.”
What to do in such a situation
In situations like these, it’s important to focus on open communication and setting clear boundaries with your partner. Before involving family, try to resolve conflicts directly and calmly, making sure both sides feel heard. If issues remain unresolved, involving family can be considered, but only as a source of guidance rather than mediation.
Prioritising mutual respect, understanding, and personal well-being is key to navigating ongoing marital conflicts without escalating tensions.
Note for readers: This article reflects the individual’s account and public reactions. It is not professional advice. Readers should seek professional guidance when faced with relationship and mental health issues.
