South Indian man (34) who will ‘let wife wear anything, visit her parents anytime’ reveals why women still reject him
An unmarried 34-year-old from South India discusses his arranged marriage challenges on Reddit, describing why he keeps getting rejections from women.
A 34-year-old unmarried man from South India has taken to the internet to detail his journey through the arranged marriage process. Posted on subreddit r/InsideIndianMarriage, the man, revealing what he wants in a life partner, explained that women and their families keep rejecting him and sought Redditors' advice on what to do next.
Man shares why he gets rejected by women
In the post shared on August 10, the man said that he believes modern matchmaking is “becoming more business-like and not people-centric”. Sharing his personality and what he is looking for, the man wrote, “I am looking for a person who is beyond religion, race, caste, language, location and boundaries. Born a Hindu, but I identify myself as an Omnist and an Agnostic… I accept all people without prejudice.”
He describes his core relationship philosophy as rooted in the HALT principle: “Honesty, Acceptance, Loyalty + Love, Trust + Transparency” — and insists on “strictly no divorce” because “it is called ‘life partner’ for a reason.” On parenthood, he believes in a ‘no child policy’, but says that he will offer his future partner three choices: “no child, adoption, or, if she wishes so, a biological child (in that order of preference).”
‘No pets, no smoking’
{{/usCountry}}He describes his core relationship philosophy as rooted in the HALT principle: “Honesty, Acceptance, Loyalty + Love, Trust + Transparency” — and insists on “strictly no divorce” because “it is called ‘life partner’ for a reason.” On parenthood, he believes in a ‘no child policy’, but says that he will offer his future partner three choices: “no child, adoption, or, if she wishes so, a biological child (in that order of preference).”
‘No pets, no smoking’
{{/usCountry}}The man says he leads a health-conscious, alcohol-free and no-smoking lifestyle, though he doesn’t mind rare social drinking. He has a “no pets” policy despite loving animals, as he prefers their freedom. His hobbies include travelling to offbeat destinations, reading extensively on history and mythology, and discussing topics “from the smallest of the quantum world to the largest of the superclusters in the universe.”
{{/usCountry}}The man says he leads a health-conscious, alcohol-free and no-smoking lifestyle, though he doesn’t mind rare social drinking. He has a “no pets” policy despite loving animals, as he prefers their freedom. His hobbies include travelling to offbeat destinations, reading extensively on history and mythology, and discussing topics “from the smallest of the quantum world to the largest of the superclusters in the universe.”
{{/usCountry}}However, despite being financially stable, rejecting dowry, and keeping his expectations minimal for the wedding, he says he has faced repeated rejections. “Families are not convinced even if I say I am planning to buy a house in the future,” he explained. Other reasons include location preferences, caste or language differences, and even horoscope mismatches — despite his family claiming to be flexible about them in love marriages.
What his ideal partner looks like
His ideal partner, he says, would be “emotionally intelligent, fun-loving, and flawed but understanding of others’ flaws too.” He emphasises mutual respect, equal freedom in career, and allowing freedom in clothing choices, and the importance of treating in-laws like one’s own family. “I just want to love one girl, deeply, all my life, and I expect the same from her,” he stated.
In the end, he wrote, “I am being very honest and upfront about who I am looking for…to avoid potential conflicts in the future,” urging others to give an honest opinion on his search for a partner.
How did Reddit react?
Redditors had different opinions on the man's take on how his future partner in an arranged marriage should be. While some criticised him for having such a long list, others advised him to treat marriage as a union, not as an Amazon checklist. Some also criticised him for ‘allowing’ his partner to dress as she wishes, or visit her parents whenever she wants.
A Reddit user said, “Nothing's wrong with you. Sometimes things take time, and it’s better to be late than to take a wrong decision.” Another wrote, “You just have to wait for your match…more likely to happen in love marriage than AM.”
A user wrote, “This is literally perfect, maybe go for a love marriage dude.”
Someone wrote, “Dude, if whatever you said is actually true, reach out to girls otherwise and not in AM.” Another said, “You're looking for an enlightened partnership under the marital accord in a society full of brain-dead people and dimwits.”
One user wrote, “Your checklist is what’s wrong. Not any particular item - just the length of it.”
Another commented, “Why would you mention something like won’t impose on clothes? Do you see the problem in that? Or letting her visit her hometown? Do you think it’s normal for men to give permission to their wives on how to dress or where to go if she wishes to?”
What the man needs is to sort which qualities are on his priority list and narrow it down. Marriage isn't a checklist, and instead of defining a person by the qualities, maybe he needs to know the character of the people he is meeting. Additionally, he should keep the core values as deal-breakers but be flexible on preferences so he doesn’t unintentionally filter out compatible matches. His intentions may be good, but the strict statements could sound inflexible or controlling.
Note for readers: This article reflects the individual’s account and public reactions. It is not professional advice. Readers should seek professional guidance when faced with relationship and mental health issues.
