Watching porn, reading erotica: Survey shows what American couples think of as cheating and what they don't
A survey draws the line between behaviors that people call out and others that are seen as acceptable.
Cheating is a dreaded betrayal in relationships, a sudden dead end in the path of the relationship's commitments. It doesn’t necessarily mean being actively unfaithful with another person, even certain casual behaviours can blur the lines of loyalty and trust.
What determines this dishonesty? It's like walking a tightrope to understand which behaviour is harmless and which is a sure-shot dealbreaker. It's time you understand from the simplified basics.
A survey conducted by Talker Research, based on the self-reported data of 2,000 sexually active adults, narrowed down the fine line that separates what's acceptable and what's not. Some actions may seem like cheating but aren't, while others are undeniably off-limits.
Definite cheating behaviours
Certain behaviors are undeniably considered cheating. According to the survey data, "harmless" flirting (51%), chatting with an ex (60%), and watching porn (23%) can make or break a relationship. These may seem tiny issues, but they carry an underlying weight, heralding a potential cheating episode.
{{/usCountry}}Certain behaviors are undeniably considered cheating. According to the survey data, "harmless" flirting (51%), chatting with an ex (60%), and watching porn (23%) can make or break a relationship. These may seem tiny issues, but they carry an underlying weight, heralding a potential cheating episode.
{{/usCountry}}Watching porn ranks high on the list of perceived infidelity, and 54% of participants believe it should be completely banned in a serious relationship.
{{/usCountry}}Watching porn ranks high on the list of perceived infidelity, and 54% of participants believe it should be completely banned in a serious relationship.
{{/usCountry}}The issue becomes even more disturbing when the past is still intertwined with the present. While these behaviours may appear harmless, they can indicate that a partner is still hung up on their ex. There's a chance to cheat in the future if the partner still hasn't moved on. Nearly half of the participants (49%) said they would be upset if their partner kept old pictures with an ex. Additionally, an even greater percentage (62%) said they would confront their partner over text messages with a former lover.
{{/usCountry}}The issue becomes even more disturbing when the past is still intertwined with the present. While these behaviours may appear harmless, they can indicate that a partner is still hung up on their ex. There's a chance to cheat in the future if the partner still hasn't moved on. Nearly half of the participants (49%) said they would be upset if their partner kept old pictures with an ex. Additionally, an even greater percentage (62%) said they would confront their partner over text messages with a former lover.
{{/usCountry}}However, maintaining friendships with exes isn’t entirely off-limits. Only 30% of respondents said they would interfere, and only if the friendship started to seem suspicious.
What's safe
Now that the red flag behaviours are done away with, it's time to de-escalate some behaviours as they don't necessarily put the relationship at risk, as per the survey.
These include reading erotica (79%), using sex toys (76%), and even dancing with someone else (66%). The safe boundary also expands to accepting drinks from someone (31%).
At the end of the day, open communication helps understand where to draw the line. The experts reiterated the importance of discussing boundaries and desires in a relationship.
But as per the survey findings, it appears that sometimes people hesitate. Only one in six people are interested in talking about their preferences early in a relationship as most prefer to wait until they’ve been intimate at least four times.
ALSO READ: Consensual non-monogamy: What is it? Study explores the joys and sorrows of an open relationship
