Woman trying for arranged marriage asks Reddit if this financial decision could harm her chances of finding a husband

In a Reddit post, a woman shared her concerns about her home loan and a decade-long relationship affecting her arranged marriage prospects.

As more young professionals delay marriage to focus on their careers and independence, questions about how personal choices impact marital prospects are becoming increasingly common. On August 12, a 29-year-old financially independent woman preparing for an arranged marriage posted on the subreddit r/InsideIndianMarriage, wondering if her home loan and past long-term relationship could affect her chances of finding the right partner.

Woman seeks advice on past relationship and home loan before arranged marriage. (Pexels)

Can past long-term relationship affect marriage prospects

Sharing her dilemma on Reddit, the woman, who prefers to remain anonymous, revealed that she was in a serious 10-year relationship, five of which were long-distance. She had envisioned marrying her partner, but things did not work out. “I’ve learned to move on. It’s difficult, but there’s no other option,” she wrote. Now, her parents have begun searching for suitable matches on her behalf. She admits she is not keen on matrimonial or dating apps, describing herself as “old school.” “I’ve given up on apps and am relying completely on my parents to find the right match,” she added.

While excited about the next chapter, she expressed anxiety about how her personal history and financial independence might be perceived. She recently invested in a home in India, taking on a home loan of ₹1.2 crore, entirely under her name. “This is my personal commitment, not something the groom has to worry about,” she clarified.

Should financial independence be a dealbreaker?

She wondered whether men might hesitate because of her long-term past relationship or her financial obligations. “Can my heavy financial commitment and past serious relationship be a challenge in finding the right match? Would guys hesitate because of these two reasons?” she asked.

The woman also shared that she has never interacted with men in an arranged marriage setting and wants to be prepared for the conversations ahead. She is looking for a “reality check” from both men and women about potential reservations and honest perspectives. “I just want to know if these aspects of my life would be dealbreakers. Are my concerns valid, or am I overthinking? Honest insights would help me face this next chapter with confidence,” she concluded.

Honesty, open communication, and active participation are crucial for navigating arranged marriages smoothly.(Unsplash)

Reactions on Reddit

The woman’s post quickly drew responses from Reddit users, offering a mix of reassurance and caution about her concerns. Some felt her financial commitment shouldn’t be a major issue.

One user wrote, “I don’t think the loan would be a big issue. It is a loan against an asset, so it should be okay. Long relationships can be an issue for some, but if the guy also had a breakup, I think it should be fine. All the best.” Another simply added, “I agree.”

One male user shared, “I was in a 10-year relationship too… I’m afraid it’ll be difficult to find someone in an arranged marriage setting unless I get really lucky.” Another user advised introspection, emphasising that “how much emotional baggage you carry from the fallout of that relationship” could influence future prospects.

Several users stressed that relying solely on parents might not be enough. One wrote, “It’s okay if your parents take the lead, but you need to have skin in the game and be active in deciding crucial matters in your life.” Another suggested, “Marriage is a big decision and you shouldn’t completely rely on your parents… parallelly get on apps, go on dates, they aren’t that bad and you might actually find someone there.”

Another advised, “Both of these [past relationship and loan] would depend on the mindset of your partner… the loan raises questions about finances in your relationship, would you still be able to contribute to the household, manage your own expenses, etc.?”

In situations like this, honesty and self-reflection are key. Be transparent about past relationships and financial commitments with prospective partners, while also actively participating in the search rather than relying solely on parents. Open communication, setting expectations early, and understanding both your own priorities and those of your potential partner can help navigate arranged marriage successfully and reduce future misunderstandings.

Note for readers: This article reflects the individual’s account and public reactions. It is not professional advice. Readers should seek professional guidance when faced with relationship and mental health issues.