UPSC aspirant recalls losing her 20s to isolation, says she no longer recognises herself
A UPSC aspirant’s viral video revealed how years of isolation left her feeling lost and emotionally drained after the exam journey ended.
A UPSC aspirant has spoken with disarming honesty about the emotional weight of spending her early twenties in isolation while preparing for the civil services exam. In a video that has now gone viral, she said the silence that followed the end of her attempts left her feeling disconnected from her own identity.
The clip was shared on Instagram by Manvi Srivastava and quickly gained traction online.
‘I gave my 20s to it’
In her caption, Srivastava wrote, “They say UPSC changes you. They never said it leaves nothing untouched. I gave my 20s to it. Locked myself away. Sacrificed birthdays, people, smiles. And when it finally ended… I did not even know who I was anymore. Somewhere between chasing UPSC and losing sleep, I lost myself too.”
Her reflection deepened further in the video, where she added, “Now I stare at a blank resume. Trying to write about a person I cannot feel connected to. My laptop screen reflects someone who knows too much about failure and too little about living. I know I am educated, capable, resilient… but somewhere between attempts and results, I forgot how to believe that. If you are isolating yourself for your dream, please, do not lose yourself chasing it. You will need you when it is all over. Take care of your mental health before anything else.”
Take a look here at the clip:
A wave of shared experiences
The video has drawn several heartfelt responses from aspirants and former aspirants who say her words reflect their own experiences. In one reaction, a user wrote, “After four failed attempts, yes UPSC changed me. It killed my hobbies, my body, my mind.” Another person said, “This is so personal. I can relate to every single word. Every single thing you wanted to say and lived is a story of every UPSC aspirant.”
A third comment read, “Can totally see myself creating this CV in similar manner a few years back, and trust me when I say this things will get so much better from here. Sending you strength and a tight hug.” Another user added, “Same here. Still a hope within, a day will come and everything will change. Somewhere I feel your situation.” Someone else wrote, “I totally relate to your journey. I also transitioned from UPSC prep to the corporate world, and it can definitely feel overwhelming at first. But trust me, with time and a bit of patience, you will find your footing and discover your strengths.”
HT.com has reached out to Srivastava for her comments. The copy will be updated when the response is received.
(Disclaimer: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.)
