Indian man in US questions why fellow desis abroad treat each other with cold indifference: ‘It is ego’
An Indian man described feeling looked down upon by another Indian in the US, triggering a wave of online responses about diaspora ego and behaviour.
A Reddit post by an Indian man living in the United States has gone viral for sparking a candid conversation about how Indians treat one another when living abroad.
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Shared under the username @Weary-Risk-8655, the post titled "Is it just me or do Indians abroad look down on their own? here's my personal experience", recounts an awkward yet revealing encounter at a coffee shop in New York City.
Awkward encounter with a fellow desi
The user, who has lived in the US for over a decade, wrote: “I’ve picked up the habit of smiling at strangers, making small talk, just being friendly, you know? Feels normal here. But something odd happened recently in NYC that made me think. Saw a guy who looked Indian at a coffee shop, so I smiled and said hi.”
However, the friendly gesture was not reciprocated. “Instead of being chill, he gave me this ‘who the hell are you’ look and responded pretty arrogantly, talking about his startup and how much he’s raised. Honestly, he acted like I was below him,” he continued.
{{/usCountry}}However, the friendly gesture was not reciprocated. “Instead of being chill, he gave me this ‘who the hell are you’ look and responded pretty arrogantly, talking about his startup and how much he’s raised. Honestly, he acted like I was below him,” he continued.
{{/usCountry}}In a twist of fate, the Redditor later discovered that he was actually an LP/angel investor in the same VC firm that had recently backed the man's startup. “When he realised, his energy immediately changed. Awkward doesn’t even cover it,” he wrote. “Why is it that a lot of Indians abroad act like this with each other? Would it kill us to just be nice or at least not look down on someone?”
Internet reacts to unspoken dynamics
{{/usCountry}}In a twist of fate, the Redditor later discovered that he was actually an LP/angel investor in the same VC firm that had recently backed the man's startup. “When he realised, his energy immediately changed. Awkward doesn’t even cover it,” he wrote. “Why is it that a lot of Indians abroad act like this with each other? Would it kill us to just be nice or at least not look down on someone?”
Internet reacts to unspoken dynamics
{{/usCountry}}The post has since triggered several reactions from fellow users, many echoing similar sentiments. One commenter observed, “This is so common. I’ve felt more warmth from strangers of other nationalities than from my own community here.”
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Another shared, “The moment they see you aren’t rich or well-connected, you’re invisible to them. Sad but true.” A third user added, “I always feel like I’m being silently judged. The ego is unreal.”
One particular comment read, “We talk about unity and culture, but when we move out of India, it’s often the first thing we discard.”
